"Fabulous Dr Lobo" by Donna Quinn

"Greetings! How would you like cash in hand for your frontal lobe? I urgently need it to continue research into how ugly people misuse their brains, and you're an ideal candidate for this crucial work. You don't look like the sort who'd miss something as trivial as a useless brain part. You'll never notice it's gone! Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know sign language. What?! I hope you don't greet your mother with that mouth!"

Thus ended another highly successful doctor-(potential) patient interaction with Dr Lobo. His trusty pet frog croaked. "Smooooooth, doc."

"Don't worry Ugtoad. He'll be back." Dr Lobo furrowed his brow. He hadn't nabbed any clients in the past three days at the carnival, and he was dumbfounded as to what the problem could be. Surely the average patron of a funfair came to the event hoping for a lobotomy? One thing was certain, the problem didn't lie with the good doctor. Lobo's dress sense could have put him on a Milan catwalk, portraying as he did the image of a trustworthy neurosurgeon with an interest in circus chic. His people skills were beyond reproach. No worries there. And as if that weren't enough, he had a shiny new M.D., fresh off the internet from the online university of Sugob.

Dr Lobo shrugged, tugged at Ugtoad's leash, and continued plying his trade. He'd get a bite soon and would be making that first sweet incision before you could say "get away from me freak".

Hint: look more closely at where Dr Lobo's degree is from. Acrylic on illustration board, 38 x 25.5 cm. 2006.